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The Sciences

Soul proprietor

Bad AstronomyBy Phil PlaitJune 29, 2009 7:30 PM


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Some of the secondary and tertiary news sites (the kinds with "Buy your Estonian bride online!" ads) are saying that a bank in Latvia called Kontora will give people loans for up to roughly $1000. Not bad, but the catch? You have to sign over your immortal soul. First, I think this is a bad deal for them in many cases. I know that as collateral, for example, my soul may not be worth all that much. It's been through a lot and is no longer in mint condition -- more like poor-to-fair, with some tears, and stains... and I'm pretty sure the binding is missing. Second, um, how do they collect? I'm sure we've all heard of harassing phone calls and the occasional broken knee from the collection guys. I don't see how this might work though. What kind of extraction tool would they use? A scythe? A golden trump? Beating me with a Pearly Gate? And third: if they did try to collect, I would declare moral bankruptcy. What can they do? In my case, it's an act of God. Tip o' the halo to Jamiebb.

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