Putting the sham in shamanic

My wife brought home a booklet she picked up yesterday. Titled "Holistic Happenings" she left it out on the table so I'd see it. I sometimes think she's trying to induce me into a coronary so she can reap the hundreds of dollars of my life insurance. Anyway, I sat down over my bowl of generic-brand Cocoa Krispies and started reading the rag. I was expecting it to be silly, but my oh my. I nearly choked on my cereal. There's a column in the back for something called "Shamanic Astrology". You can imagine how I felt about that. The guru of this particular New Age, uh, stuff, had this to say: "Wholeness is awakening to your shadow as well as your light, balancing the upper, lower, and middle worlds, and integrating your past lineage with your future soul intention. " If you can understand what he's trying to say ...