“I hate small talk.” It seems to be a popular sentiment. But if no one likes recanting the responsibilities of their day job or pontificating about the weather to a stranger, then why do we keep doing it?
For years, research has indicated that substantive, intimate conversations strengthen social bonds between people and, in turn, make them happier. Yet, other research has observed that less than half of conversations are meaningful exchanges.
So, what’s stopping us from talking about what really matters? DiscoverMagazine.com spoke with research psychologist Amit Kumar about the psychological barriers that stop us from having intimate conversations and how to overcome them.
Kumar is an assistant professor of marketing and psychology at The University of Texas at Austin and a primary author on the recent study, Overly Shallow?: Miscalibrated Expectations Create a Barrier to Deeper Conversation.
