The Alternative-Science Respectability Checklist

Believe me, I sympathize. You are in possession of a truly incredible breakthrough that offers the prospect of changing the very face of science as we know it, if not more. The only problem is, you're coming at things from an unorthodox perspective. Maybe your findings don't fit comfortably with people's preconceived notions, or maybe you don't have the elaborate academic credentials that established scientists take for granted. Perhaps you have been able to construct a machine that produces more energy than it consumes, using only common household implements; or maybe you've discovered a hidden pattern within the Fibonacci sequence that accurately predicts the weight that a top quark would experience on Ganymede, expressed in femtonewtons; or it might be that you've elaborated upon an alternative explanation for the evolution of life on Earth that augments natural selection by unspecified interventions from a vaguely-defined higher power. Whatever the specifics, the point is that certain kinds of breakthroughs just aren't going to come from a hide-bound scholastic establishment; they require the fresh perspective and beginner's mind that only an outsider genius (such as yourself) can bring to the table. Yet, even though science is supposed to be about being open-minded, and there's so much that we don't understand about how the universe works, it's still hard for outsiders to be taken seriously. Instead, you run up against stuffy attitudes like this: