How To Get Tenure at a Major Research University

[Update: added a couple of useful points.] This is the time of year when prospective graduate students are visiting different universities, deciding where they will spend the most formative years of their scientific lives. Amidst the enthusiastic sales pitches, I try to make sure to remind everyone that the odds of success are long -- there is a bottleneck that shrinks as you go from grad school to postdoc to junior faculty to tenure. Probably the biggest hurdle is the leap from postdoc to junior faculty; it's easier to get tenure once you're a professor (statistically speaking) than to become a professor in the first place. But it's not guaranteed! As many of you know, I was denied tenure myself. This actually puts me in a pretty strong position to talk about the ins and outs of what it takes to succeed, having seen lack-of-success (is there a word for that?) up close and personal. I've avoided talking too much about this topic, partly because armchair psychologists have trouble resisting the temptation to take anything general I would say and attempting to match it to specific people and aspects in my own case, despite a pretty thorough lack of familiarity with the facts. On the other hand, maybe I can offer some actually useful guidance to people who are trying to do something difficult and important for their future lives. So here goes: how to get tenure. But first, caveats. My own experience from grad school on has been at top research places, so those are the only ones I can speak usefully about; the situation will generally be very different at places that put more of an emphasis on teaching, for example. So really I'm talking about places that think of themselves as being in the top 10 or so in their research fields. And of course, to every set of rules there are exceptions; it's not hard to find people who violated one or more of these guidelines, so don't take them as written in stone. Every case, and every department, is different. Finally, don't think of these as too bitter or cynical; I'm simply trying to be honest, with perhaps a small slant to counteract some of the misinformation that is out there. (This misinformation doesn't usually arise from willful lying, but from the slightly schizophrenic nature of the mission of research universities; see The Purpose of Harvard is Not to Educate People.) I'm generally in favor of the tenure system; like democracy, it's the worst system out there, except for all the other ones that have ever been invented. With all that throat-clearing out of the way, let's get down to brass tacks. Here is the Overriding Principle: what major research universities care about is research. That's all. Nothing else. But even once you recognize that, there is still some craft involved in shaping your research career in the right way. This isn't the place for me to pass judgment on this principle; I'm just elucidating its consequences. This is a how-to manual for the real world, not a roadmap for Utopia. You'll be pleased to learn that there are actually two different routes to getting tenure, so you can choose which one works better for you. The first one is simple to describe, and comes down to a single suggestion: