A Caffeine-Tracking App...That Doesn't Actually Track Your Caffeine?

Sorry to tell you this, US Navy, but in our opinion, you've been had. This new app you've funded, dubbed Caffeine Zone, is not the best way to schedule your caffeine intake so as to maximize awesome and minimize double vision and crazy manic behavior. Not by a long shot. True, Caffeine Zone, developed by researchers at Penn State, does draw on studies that suggest that between 200 and 400 milligrams of caffeine in the blood is the sweet spot, the level at which that glorious productive high kicks in. Likewise, studies also say that having about 100 milligrams in the blood around bedtime puts you in the danger zone of insomnia. But when users type in when they plan to drink their caffeine, how much of it they'll drink, and how fast they'll drink it, the readout they get of their projected caffeine levels throughout the day sounds like ...