I know I'm not physically hurt. Though it feels like I've been kicked in the stomach with steel-toed boots, my abdomen isn't bruised. Spiking cortisol levels are causing my muscles to tense and diverting blood away from my gut, leading to this twisting, gnawing agony that I cannot stop thinking about. I can't stop crying. I can't move. I just stare at the ceiling, wondering when, if ever, this pain is going to go away.