The Shambulance: Infrared Body Wraps

(The Shambulance is an occasional series in which I try to find out the truth about bogus or overhyped health products. Having recovered from my taste of no-calorie noodles, I’m back this week with Shambulance first officers Steven Swoap and Daniel Lynch.)Sometimes it’s for the best when product claims turn out to be blatant lies. If purveyors of infrared body wraps, for example, were telling the truth, clients would walk out of their spas dripping grease from their skin—and that wouldn’t even be their biggest concern, next to the heart attacks.All body wraps are not created equal. There are slimming volcanic ash wraps, herbal wraps, mud wraps, and even chocolate wraps. Some are only meant to be relaxing skin treatments. Others involve swaddling clients mummy-style in bandages and plastic wrap, then leaving them for an hour or so to stew in their own sweat.These kinds of body wraps often promise weight loss or overall slimming. In reality, how much weight you lose will depend on how much water your body sweats out in a frantic effort to cool down. Additional svelte-ness might come from the squishing action of the tight bandages. Both effects will be temporary. As another benefit, spas that offer body wraps unfailingly promise “detox.” This isn’t the first time the d-word has come up here. Suffice it to say that unwanted molecules are filtered from our blood and sent out of our bodies by the liver and kidneys—not sucked from us forcefully by mud wraps, juice diets, or ionic foot baths.But the most amazing promises of all come from the infrared body wrap. Unlike some of the body wrap’s other incarnations, this treatment doesn’t require you to strip down, be slathered in goo, and get bandaged head to toe. Instead, clients lie on a bed with their clothes on while several infrared-generating silicone pads are strapped around them. Then they’re left under a heated blanket for a while.