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Planet Earth

Cats. The Other White Meat.

The IntersectionBy Sheril KirshenbaumOctober 11, 2007 8:08 PM
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Okay you two legged mutants... Chris and Sheril don't know I'm laptop side again. He's off, I don't know, probably writing about elephants' rear ends (frankly I never understood why all you humans got so excited over that book - with a name like 'Mooney', what did you expect?) And Sheril's likely blogging somewhere else or playing with sea cucumbers. So while they're away, this conure will play and I'm infiltrating The Intersection with good reason... I've noticed Sheril and Chris have been going with a Hillary theme much of the week and realized to my horror they left out one very serious issue which needs to be broached and addressed publicly. Namely, the Notorious C.A.T. Socks. That intolerable beast had reign of our nation's capitol from 1993-2001. And the pesky animal of questionable moral character has gotten more press and praise than any bird-eating puss ought to. The black and white furball had his diary published (as if anyone would care to read the opinions of a cat!) and some ludicrous writer even named him the world's most powerful feline. Yeah sure, inflate that thing's ego. So he's been on TV with Kermit the frog and Larry King. Big deal. I eat puppets bigger than both of them. But if that wasn't insult enough, he found his way onto a series of stamps in the Central African Republic with Bill Clinton. The thought of licking the back of that purring monstrosity makes me want to bite someone.

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But I will point out that the Clintons did one smart thing when they left the White House. They also left Socks with Betty Currie. Good riddance. One down, one to go. .. We still have the unfortunate circumstance of India at large, but reports are coming back through the wire that the good people of Kerala are actively protesting Bush's cat. To that I say, Viva la revolution! Quoting former President Bill Clinton, 'If you want a friend in Washington you have to get a dog.' Or better yet, a bird. How I wish to bring back the good ol' days of Kennedys, Johnsons, Wilsons, McKinleys, Clevelands, Lincolns, Pierces, Tylers, Jacksons, Madisons, Jeffersons and Roosevelts... when we had a bird in the White House! Maybe then you unevolved flightless wonders will finally get your politics and sensibilities in order.

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