Feeling invisible to a sibling with special needs is one experience that social scientists describe as the “well sibling syndrome.” Kids who have siblings with cognitive delays, physical disabilities or mental health issues can feel ignored or defined by their sibling’s special needs.
A pediatrician wrote about an experience he had when he was 12-years-old and flying with his brother who had autism to visit a family member. A passenger wanted to know whether the brother had friends, what grade he was in and what foods he liked to eat. When the flight ended, the pediatrician realized the passenger had been so focused on his brother that she never even asked his name.
Researchers have long overlooked sibling dynamics in aspects of family psychology. Social scientists are learning more about the experience of well siblings, including how parents can treat them differently or how they often feel ignored or excluded. Problematically, well siblings tend to keep these feelings to themselves.
