The world is in the grip of a serious pandemic as a novel virus sweeps from continent to continent, causing cases of sometimes-deadly COVID-19. Yet much of the global social media response has centered around a somewhat trivial and comical side effect: the hoarding of toilet paper. News reports cover accounts of people coming to blows over the resource; people are continually posting photos of empty supermarket shelves; and jokes about people building Game of Thrones–style seats out of boxes of TP are going viral.
It’s not just toilet paper that’s flying off the shelves: People are also buying pasta, beans, soap, hand sanitizer, and other supplies, including paper towels. Stocking up on essentials during a crisis is not a bad idea, so long as it doesn’t deprive others of what they need. Panic buying, at least in some cases, makes sense—even for TP. New social-distancing practices, closed schools, and telecommuting mean that Americans will use more toilet paper in the coming weeks. It’s mathematical, really. We’re being asked to spend more time at home, less time at work, school, or out and about. And our bodily systems don’t change in the meantime.
But toilet paper obviously won’t stop the virus or ameliorate its social, economic, or health impacts. From a strictly functional perspective, other materials, including flimsy facial tissues, work just as well. Frankly, if one gets quarantined without toilet paper, one can simply jump into the shower to clean up. And in the case of strict quarantine measures, I suspect people will wish they had stockpiled something else over TP—like nonperishable foods.
