In an effort to catch Pepsi, Arizona, and Snapple in the "ready-to-drink tea market," Coke is raising the bar for diet drinks with its new tea product: Enviga, which will go on sale later this year and has negative calories, say the kooky Coke-heads.
How in the world could such a feat be possible? Well, Enviga contains a powerful, exotic, miraculous chemical called "caffeine," which is consumed by 90% of the adults in the little-known New World tribe called "North America," along with much of the rest of the world. Caffeine is a stimulant of the central nervous system, and therefore drives the body to burn more calories than it ordinarily would, causing loss of excess baggage. (Enviga also contains the green tea-derived antioxidant/stimulant EGCG, enhancing the weight-loss effect.) The Coke line is that 3 cans of Enviga make healthy, young adults burn 60-100 calories, while each can contains just ...
