Why I Blog

Not me, silly. I still have no clue why I blog. But I have in my possession the first draft of Joe Romm's recent post, "Why I blog." It's a rough, bullet-point version that was smuggled out of Romm's kitchen window by a source who shall remain anonymous. Here it is: I joined the new media because the motherf#!$*! mainstream, status quo, false-balance media are so utterly, miserably, failing to report on the looming end of civilization. What I have learned most from my blog is that hyperbole works! The louder I shout, the more insults I hurl, the more credible I become. I am channeling the spirit of George Orwell. He was a truth teller. So am I. Don't believe me? I'll blowtorch your name in public. I dicate all my posts not just because I love the sound of my voice, but because I love the poetry of my meandering 2,000 word posts, and the artistic beauty of those 50-word headlines. I blog because it gives me more pleasure than the treadmill. Also, I simply would burst from acid reflux if I didn't have a vehicle to truth-tell. I blog because my brother lost his house to Hurricane Katrina. That singular event, which I admit, had nothing to do with global warming, motivated me to become an unflinching truth-teller. George Orwell. Note to self: insert more references to Orwell. A key goal of my blog is to save you time by being as verbose as possible. I know that sounds like a contradiction. It's not. I never contradict myself. Remember, I am a truth-teller. The point is, you don't need to bother going anywhere else for truth-telling. Everything you need to (and should) know about climate science, climate politics, and the motherf#$%&! status quo media is what I tell you. On that note, F-you Andy Revkin! I'm the man! Not you! And I'm gonna drum that home from hell to high water. I blog because I love my commenters. They reinforce my basest instincts, they appreciate my truth-telling and they never fail to say that in the most adoring terms. The ultimate reason that I blog is because it's too late for humanity. But I want the cockroaches who will inherit hell and high water to know that somebody was out there yelling from the rooftops. The ultimate, ultimate reason that I blog is because there's a great hunger for such ravings. That is what keeps me going. Your hunger for my rants. Thank you all for lapping it up!