Fake New York Post on Climate Change: "We're Screwed"

Discoblog
By Melissa Lafsky
Sep 21, 2009 7:51 PMNov 20, 2019 3:19 AM
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Let it not be said that no one is using eye-catching stunts to raise awareness about global warming. The activist group the Yes Men is distributing 85,000 free copies of a "special climate edition" of the New York Post throughout New York City today, with the goal of, well, terrifying people into action against climate change. The full paper is available online here, and each article is also online. Here's an excerpt from the front-page story:

It’s official. It’s getting hot down here. And if we don’t stop burning oil and coal, the Big Apple will be cooked. According to a high tech study commissioned by a concerned Mayor Bloomberg and generously funded by the Rockefeller Foundation, climate change caused by human-created greenhouse gases is threatening the health, livelihood and security of New Yorkers—especially those who take the subway to work... According to the panel’s report, if all nations don’t drastically cut their carbon emissions, then Gotham will suffer in the following ways:

• Deadly heat waves will become more frequent, more intense and longer. Because cities are a lot hotter than their surrounding areas, we’ll see more of the sorts of heat events that killed 600 people in 5 days in Chicago in 1995...

• With coastal flooding, our water supply will be in trouble...

• Along with coastal flooding, droughts will also increase...

• The strain on our power grid will be drastically increased during the summer months.

Granted, there is some light at the end of the pitch black tunnel:

So what can we do about it? Plenty. And it’s not even that hard. On the City level, NASA scientists have the answers, and they’re simple: plant lots more trees (to cool the air through “evapotranspiration” and shade), and paint the roofs white to reflect the sun’s heating rays (See “New York’s all white with me”). But MOST IMPORTANTLY, we need to put pressure on government—local, state and federal—to convert our entire energy systems to sustainable sources like solar and wind.

Well, lets hope all those stimulus checks can kick that process into gear. Related Content: Reality Base: Will the Bailout Save Solar Tax Credits? Reality Base: Congress Steals from the Clean and Gives to the Dirty Discoblog: Are Wind Turbines Killing Innocent Goats?Image: Courtesy of The Yes Men

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