Eco-Jerks

I have a confession to make. When I shop at a neighborhood foodie store for some organic staples, I sometimes forget to bring the environmentally correct, reusable grocery bags. It's deliberate. For one thing, it pisses off my wife, a woman who hordes clothing catalogs the way I once collected comic books, and whose online shopping sprees help keep UPS delivery truck drivers gainfully employed. When she gets two oversized cardboard boxes in one day, I'll run out to buy a box of whole grain Cheerios just for the plastic bag. But there's another reason: I want that cashier to ask if I'd like a bag. Damn straight I do! (Cue that look from cashier.) I don't care if it's just a box of cereal. I can't hold my iphone with one hand while walking home and texting with the other without slipping the handle of that non-biodegradable plastic bag ...