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The Sciences

Painfully Funny

Cosmic VarianceBy cjohnsonMay 10, 2006 3:15 AM


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Pure genius. You have to listen to the 9th May edition of the live phone-in Down The Line! At some point I had to shut my office door, as I was laughing so much but trying not to be too loud so ended up with tears streaming down my face. This week's topic: Religion, and Korean scientists' discovery of a new colour. Make sure you're not operating heavy machinery, or driving fast, before you listen. (I don't know if there is an archive, so you might have to listen to it before they replace it with next week's edition.) Example exchange (~22nd minute):

Host: Who's next? I've got Muhammed, from Birmingham. Hello! Guest (strong Brummie accent): Hello. Host: Now I don;t want to jump to any conclusions, Muhammed, but are you perhaps a Muslim? Guest: That's right. Host: Right. So what do you want to talk about? Guest: Well, I'm ringing about this new primary colour... Host: Can I say... We're also talking today about religion, and it's great to have a Muslim on the phone. Guest: Yes. Host: And I wonder if you could perhaps talk about what it's like being a Muslim in this day and age.... Guest: Oh, right. Yeah. I don't wanna talk about that. I've rung up about the primary colour. Host: But it's interesting isn't it...? Do you find that there is a lot of er, intolerace towards you, and do you find that people look at your in a different way,..... than they used to, say, pre-9/11? Guest: But what they gonna call this colour? That's what I wanna know, 'cos... Host: But... Guest: You know, like, when I was young.... Host: Listen... Guest: ....they told me that you had blue, red, and green, or blue, red, and yellow... Host: that's right.... Guest: Depending upon whether you'e doing Art or whether you'e doing Physics.... Host: I don't think that people at home understand, neccessarily, what Islam means.... Guest: Well, I don't know really, 'cos everyone's different, but.... how can you name a colour? Host: Never mind about colours.....!!

It goes on like this for a while....Brilliant. Example exchange (~27th minute):

Host: Hello, you're through to Down the Line, Hello? Guest (woman's voice; polite well-meaning tone): Hello, I just wanted to say... People seem very quick to judge the Muslims, but I think that we should wait a while, because you never know, they might come good.... Host: Hmmmm Guest: ...My son, for example. He used to be a right little terror.... Host: Hmmm Guest: now, he's a successful painter.... Host: Well thank you very much for your call!

And then the next one with the dog just had me rolling on the floor. I can't even describe it..... -cvj

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