One of my weirder hobbies is keeping track of things that prove we live in the future. So far I've got things like robot vacuum cleaners (Roomba), Star Trek communicators (iPhone), and lasers that correct vision (LAZIK). I can now add "cyborg comedians" to that roster. I don't know what caused the synchronicity, but in the past couple days I've been coming across seemingly unrelated but very funny people talking about their significant disabilities and how they transcend them with mechanical aids. The first video I saw was of Zach Anner's addition for an Oprah competition. Zach, who has cerebral palsy and uses a motorized wheelchair to get around, is gunning for his own show. Now that he's introduced, I'll just let the man with the "sexiest palsy" do the talking: After an outpouring of support from the internet, Zach thanked, uh, the internet, for that very outpouring. No word from Oprah yet, but hopefully this post is just one more drop in the massive internet bucket to get her attention. Vote for Zach. Do it! Normally, uplifting, funny, and enlightening people like Zach come along only in the rarest occasions on ye old internet, but this week he was in very good company. For those of us who choose to punish ourselves daily by following politics, the return of Roger Simon to Politico is already a happy thing. Yesterday, though, he bequeathed us the gift of his absurdist "triumphant return" interview which is, well, entirely unexpected and wonderful - a taste:
[Q: What happened?] A: The doctors had to cut off my right leg below the knee and almost all of my left foot. After a long stint in intensive care, then seven weeks at the National Rehabilitation Hospital in Washington, I am now in a wheelchair. But I can’t wait to get back on my own two — artificial — feet again. Q: What will those be like? A: I am hoping they will be like Iron Man, and I will be able to fly and kick over buildings. Q: You are being very brave about this. A: It is amazing how brave you can be when you have no choice. Also, I am on a lot of drugs. Q: I have a gruesome and disgusting question. A: Of course, you do. You are one of my readers.
I wasn't sure if the next question was family friendly, so you'll have to just go see for yourself. The interview leaps around crazily like that for two pages, bordering on what can only be described as art. And just as I'm done recuperating from the screeching-cackling my body mistakes for laughter, Josh Sundquist, a mad MC with no left foot, hits us with The Amputee Rap: A wheelchair-bound traveler, a double-amputee political wonk, and an amputee MC making me laugh harder than I have in a good long while. Welcome to the future. Word to your cyborg mother.